so she said..

can't believe it.. haha!

even though we've been friends for only almost four semester, it feels like we've been friends since forever. you were always there for me here. i had always confide my problems to you, and even the smallest thing happen to me pun i tell you kan?? i shared all my secrets to you, knowing that your a friend that i can trust and rely on. you know right the saying goes "a shoulder to lend". you lend your shoulder when i was down...but instead lending me your shoulder, saya jadi punching bag pula!! hahahaha. and thanks for watching with me and Daphne and Jeniffer the movie "HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON"! i know you don't really watch that kinda movie but still you went...and thank you... for that wonderful midnight birthday shower. it is something to be remembered for the rest of my life. first time kan..hahaha. THANK YOU infinity times yum.... please don't lose contact. i wanna annoy you more!! hahaha. and you must succeed in life k!!! your strong.. you can stand on your feet kan?? but ego kalau boleh kurang kan sikit la ..... =P

gonnaa miss you too the max.

blah blah blah

it may not meant notin 2 ya all..
but understand notin was done 4 me..
so i dun plan on forgettin...
i want dis shit forever mine...

i hav ripped d game young,u could called it statutory..
wen sum1 blows up,they come 2 build statues from me..
u would tink dis people noe me wen they really doesnt..
like they was down wit d old me no u fuckin wasnt..

try 2 lie but it aint me,try 2 look but i cant see...
cant stop rite now coz im too far n i cant keep goin coz its 2 hard..
in d day or in d night its juz d same..

if u how dis is,gonna see is not dat easy..
dun stop get it till its done..
from where u ar or hav begun...
i said keep on try a little harder 2 see everytin u need 2 be..
beleive in ur dreams,that u see wen ur asleep...

nope..not even close...

do u ever feel out of place?
like sumhow u juz dun belong..
n no 1 understands u..
do u ever feel like runnin away?
do u ever feel like breakin down?
do u ever lock urself in ur room?
with d audio turned on so loud..
dat no 1 can hear ur screams..

nope..u never felt it

wen notin feels allright..
to feels hurts,to feel lost..
to be felt like u ar left in d dark..
to be kick wen ur down..
to feel like uve been pushed around..

nope..u dun noe wat its like

dream

d tings is.. idun really noe wat im tryin 2 write here...
blog ak da dibace oleh org yg x sppttnye...
ak wat nie nk luah perasaan ak..
tp ad org gune ap yg ak tulis utk perli ak...

bkn ap..korg maybe ckp ak mcm2..
tp korg x rase ap yg ak rase...korg x lalu hidup yg ak kene lalu..
call me ungrateful..call me hot headed..call me anytin u want...
but u can change d fact dat been goin on...

ko bole ckp ak malas..ak x geti hormat org...ko bole ckp ak kurg aja...
ak taw..mmg kekadang ak naik angin..ak tengking2...
ak taw ak salah..tp ak yg ak ckp 2 x salah...mugkin cre ak luahkan x betul..

skunk nie ak taw..ak dipandang rendah...ak taw ak da hampakan korg...
mugkin jalan ak x ditar mcm jalan yg len..tp ak taw mne hala tuju ak..
ak x paham ap yg hine sgt amik automotif...ap ak x bole hidup ke ap klo ak amik kos 2???
ke korg rase xde standet amik kos 2???
yela...org len sibuk nk jdi doctor,,engineer,,pilot,,2 lantak dorg laa..
ap igt hine ad cite2 nk jadi mekanik??
hahaha..lawak2...

bile ak ckp bia ak jalan ngn kaki ak sendri..bia ak kuar dri ruma..bia ak hidup sndr..
kate wat ko nk susa2 hidup sndr kalo bole hidup ngn fmly plak..
tp enta laa...
im livin my parents dream..not mine..
im not sayin dat there is anytin wrong wit it..
yaa..i noe.....i hav responsiblty as a son..i kene tunaikn permintaan mak bpk ak..
ok2..fine..

mugkin korg ckp ak anak derhaka..selalu tengking korg..tp penah ke ak tengking x tentu pasal???
penah ke ak meradang x tntu pasal???
ak cume marah bile ak dimarah utk bnde yg x spatutnye..
yee..ak taw..ak tetap salah menegking org tua..ak x nafikan..
ak taw ak panas baran...

mugkinn silap ak sebab ak selalu igt yg ak kene tangung sume nye sorg2..
ak da terbiase mcm2 dri kecik lagi..bila ak ad mslh jrg ak luahkn kt org..
melainkan ak perlukan pndpt drang..
ramai ckp ak nie ego lebey..
tp korg x taw cite hdp ak..
ap yg ak lalui yg mnjadikan ak..ak..bkn ak yg nk ego..tp klo bkn pasal ego ak..
x mgkn ak bole ad kt tpt ak skrg nie..
mgkn kt mate korg ak gagal..
tp pd ak,,dis is just a temporary setbacks..
ill get on my feet soon..
even if it takes a thousand light years..ill never back down..
dis is who i am..

-----

is anybody out there?
it feels like im talkin 2 myself..
no 1 seems 2 noe my struggle n evrytin i come from..
can anybody hear me?
i guess i keep talkin 2 maself..
it feels like im goin insane..
am i d 1 whose crazy?

so y in d world do i feel so alone..
nobody but me,im on my own..
is any1 out there,who feels d way i feel..
that there is den i let me in n let me noe dat im not alone...

berdikari

aishh...
maybe keputusan ak lepas nie akan mengubah perjalanan idop ak..
klo sblm nie ak masih lg bule tngl ngn fmly walaupn ak sentiase trse dri ak nie mcm anak angkat..
tp kli nie x lg..
maybe lpas nie ak kene hdop sndr..sume kene pikir sndr..xde tpt mngadu..xde tpt yg dpangil ruma lg..

bnde camnie..parents ak pakse ak sambung stdy ak nie..
yg jadi mslhnye..da laa xde minat dlm cos nie..pas2 ak x rase ak bole perform..
ak xnk bazir mase lg..ak nk truskan study ak dlm bnde yg ak minat..automotif..
tp parents ak kurg menyokong...

maybe klo ak tetap berkeras ngn kpeutusan ak n parents ak tetap x sokong ak..ak akan angkat kaki..
ak akan tnjk kt sume yg ak nie qayyum..ak bole berdiri ngn kaki ak..
nie sume bkan pasal ego..tp pasal mase dpan ak..
maybe nie hlngn yg terpkse ak tempuhi sblm ak mengecapi kesengan hidup..
harap2 laa ak bole berjaye..

ak akn blaja btl2..keje sngh2..
smpi ak berjaye..
walaupn bnde nie mkn mase selmnye..ak ttp xkan mengalah..
sbb ak berpegang pd kate2 "dimane ad kemahuan..disitu ad jalan"..
hrap2 parents ak bole paham kemahuan ak..

enough

n they make me..
make me dream ur dream..
n they make me scream ur scream..


tryin 2 please u far too long..
controllin my feelin far 2 long..
n forcin our darkest soul 2 unfold..
n pushin me into self destruction...

rhere's a game called circle n i dun noe how..
still tryin 2 figure dis crap out..
thought i 've it mapped out but i guess i didnt..
dis fuckin black cloud still follows me around..

n i just cant keep livin dis way..
so im breakin out of dis cage..
im standin up,im manning up,im gonna hold my ground..
i've had enough now im so fed up...
time 2 put MY life my way...